Chase... it was cancer...

[tollermom]

Finally got the myasthenia gravis test results back, almost three weeks after they were sent in and a week after Chase died. Test was positive, not that that was a surprise, given that he'd responded to the pyridostigmine.

The necropsy results also came back today, and the root cause of all of the recent problems was cancer. Specifically, hemangiosarcoma... and it was pretty widespread... it showed up in every sample they tested other than the lymph node. No large tumors were evident, though, which explains why nothing showed up on xray or ultrasound (and we were looking... his spleen was specifically checked in early January.

Ultimately, it's not something that could have been cured, and any attempt probably would have just made him miserable and prolonged the inevitable. I think he fought to stay for as long as he could, bouncing back from the pneumonia and the myasthenia gravis, but in the end, his body just gave out.

Dammit... I'd just managed to go a whole day without spontaneously breaking down crying, and now it's started all over again.

*sigh*

Comments

[rose1thorn.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Many many hugs

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

*BIGHUGS*

[quadrivium.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

It's ok to cry

[maverick-weirdo.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

If crying help, please cry. He was a good dog. Good dogs deserve to be cried for.

[khadagan.livejournal.com]

Hugs and cuddles -- K

[tollermom]

Thanks, Merav.

He was a great dog... and my best buddy for 14 years. I expect it's going to be a long time before random things stop triggering tears.

[spiritdancer]

Hemangiosarcoma sucks :-(

At least you were with him to the end *hugs*

[catalana.livejournal.com]

*hug* I'm thinking of you and your fuzzy boy. I'm glad he had a good end-of-life, even if it did come to an end eventually. I'll miss your doggie too.

[billroper]

*hugs*

He was a damned fine dog.

[janmagic.livejournal.com]

many huggs and you cry. i needed to cry for a very long time when the last cat of mine died. when i thought i was done i suddenly got sinus issues. then i knew i needed to view pictures and have a daily cry. after a month of that things got better.

it sucks when a pet is lost. yet it opens the door for the next "pet family " to enter your life. my cats have improved with each family group. i am on my 3rd cat family and loving the ride. when these 4 are gone with extreme greiving , we will probably do the same. adopt a pregnate cat and start all over again.

again , many hugs

[xap]

*huggs*

[kestrels-nest.livejournal.com]

Knowing this, you don't need to ask yourself if there was anything else you could have done or if you missed something. You were an amazing dog-mom for him, and he was a wonderful dog. He was as lucky to have you as you to have him, and I'm just so sorry it couldn't have been for longer. Of course you're crying for him still. Your love for him didn't die with him; there's a hole in your home and your life and your heart, and that hurts. And I don't know where we got this absurd idea that we're not supposed to cry when something hurts!

HUGHUGHUGHUGHUG!!!!!

[kyrielle]

*hugs*

[kychilehead.livejournal.com]

Give grief a voice, Debbie. He was an incredible dog and eventually they will get to happy tears. It's one week shy of six months since I lost Blade and not a week goes by that I don't break down. And sometimes it's a few times a week. They take a huge part of us with them and it's hard to heal from.

I sometimes wonder if I should have checked into what took Blade from me even though it wouldn't have changed the results. They tell me I did everything I could and if it was the same type of cancer, I couldn't have prevented it or saved him even though I seem to think I have that power.

I can sit here and say think about the good times the last 14 years but I know every memory, every photo, every thought may trigger tears. I know it's so difficult. Take comfort in Drummer and Thunder, Cookie has become a rock for me during the healing. I don't know that I'll ever heal because Blade was my canine soulmate.

I just want you to know you're not alone. I know it feels like it because we all have special connections to our furry friend and we all deal with it differently, but I do feel your pain.

(on another note, a vet friend of mine sent me "Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet" by Gary Kowalski. It really helped just to "know."

*hugs*

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. It will eventually reach a point where the memory of his life brings you more joy than the knowledge of his absence brings grief. Until then, it's just hard. Cry when you need to. Chase was a good friend.

[tollermom]

Thanks, Erica... I'm glad you got to meet him. He really was a very special boy.

I just posted pix from WindyCon... I think they're the last pictures I got of him. The very last would have been some that I tried to take while I was sitting with him after lunch that last week, but I was taking it with the cameraphone and it was hopelessly blurry, so I deleted it, thinking I'd take better ones later.

The WindyCon pix were good though... and good memories.

[tollermom]

It does suck. Its only redeeming virtue, if you can call it that, seems to be that it's fast.

*sigh*

[tollermom]

Thanks, Bill.

In a week, you get to meet the Anti-Chase. Just remind yourself, as I do, that Chase was a wild thing when he was young, too...

[tollermom]

Thanks, Jan.

The pictures are definitely therapeutic. I went back through my iPhoto album just now, and posted some pictures from WindyCon.

And you're right... I think about how much I adored Chase, but if my very first "best dog ever" (Trouble... my first dog-of-my-own after college) had lived forever, I probably would never have even met Chase.

Unfortunately, knowing that this opens a door doesn't make dealing with the closed door any less painful for now. :-(

[mbumby.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*